SHADOW, Attempt 2

With a topic like ‘Shadow’, my imagination kind of went into overdrive this month. This topic had so much potential: you’ll never believe the ideas I came up with. An underachieving boy decides to take vengeance against his popular brother. A CLP student makes a pact with the forces of darkness that goes horribly wrong. A family with dark secrets finds their pasts all coming back to haunt them. The citizens of an underground city find themselves in danger from a terrifying creature of light.

One day I may actually write those stories, but for now, please enjoy (or endure) this story, which my mind kept on coming back to. It was my favourite of all my ideas. Apologies that story is very long. Again, got carried away in creative process.

I also do promise that my next story will be grounded in reality as much as possible, and will not feature cross-dressing psychos, wars in Heaven, crazy inventions or anything of the sort.

LILY AND VOLSTRAK

August 1999. Not the most memorable of months, from a historical standpoint. M. Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense first opened in theatres, a solar eclipse darkened the skies of Europe and Asia, and an earthquake ravaged parts of Turkey.

It was also when Lily and Volstrak first met.

Lily had been five years old at the time. She was small for her age, somewhat chubby, with rosy apple-cheeks and soft black hair which her mother loved tying into little pigtails. Her laugh was bubbly, reminiscent of wind chimes, and she had a tendency to mix up her words when she spoke too fast; saying ‘cot and hold’ when she meant ‘hot and cold’, which most people found adorable.

Everyone loved her, and she loved everyone as well, but a special place in her heart was reserved for her Mommy, her Daddy, and her stuffed rabbit Mr. Littles.

Volstrak, on the other hand, loved noone and nothing.

He was massive, even for a creature of his kind, almost seven feet tall. Volstrak had dark crimson eyes that glittered like rubies in the darkness, and five large curved horns that formed a crown on his brow. Long talons; jagged little razorblades, extended from his hands and feet. Massive wings of shadow grew from his back, but they were faint and almost gone now, it had been long since he last flew.

His voice was bone-chilling. Dark and guttural, the sinister voice that lunatics heard in their minds, haunting them and driving them to do horrible things. His laughter was the howl of a dying timber wolf, his snarls the soundtrack of nightmares.

Volstrak lived under Lily’s bed, and only came out at night. The first thing he ever said to her: “Hello, little girl. I want to drink your blood, and eat you up!” And then he revealed himself to her, baring his fangs, and Lily had screamed. She had cried, and ran out to her parents room, and Volstrak had laughed.

Her fear was nourishing, delicious and sustaining. Volstrak enjoyed it profusely. For he was a Lord of the Dark, a Creature of Shadow, and fear was his daily bread. It was what he needed to stay alive.
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The months went by, and Lily and Volstrak went on with their lives.

Volstrak’s life went on pretty much as usual. The lives of Shadow Creatures are not marked by novelty and variety, after all. He stayed under Lily’s bed, scaring her as much as he could, growing fat on her delicious fear. The ideal life for one of his kind.

Lily’s life, however, was ever-changing. Yes, Volstrak was terrifying at night. But Mummy and Daddy were always there for her. They made her feel secure, told her he didn’t exist. Gave her things like security blankets and torch lights to defend herself, and her Daddy would check for monsters before she went to bed.

And their love made Volstrak less terrifying, and let her sleep well despite knowing he was there. And Volstrak was dismayed, for less fear meant less sustenance, but there was little he could do.

Lily also entered primary school, a place she found scary at first, but gradually grew to love. Lily especially loved finger-painting, because it was conducted by Ms. Lee, a friendly, warm teacher, who always smiled and smelt like strawberries.

She also went out of the country for the first time. Her parents took her to Japan for Christmas, and that holiday had been the best of her life. She had walked through cherry blossom gardens, drank tea from pretty ladies in kimonos, and met Mickey Mouse himself at Tokyo Disneyland. But her favourite memory was of New Year’s at Shinjuku. There had been thousands of people, and her Daddy had picked her up, and put her on his powerful shoulders, to see over the crowd. And she had marvelled at the most spectacular fireworks display she had ever seen: beautiful splashes of light, in every colour of the rainbow. They had ooh-ed and aah-ed, and then gone for ice creams after that. Just the three of them: her, her Daddy, and her Mommy. It had been the best of times.

But not all changes are positive.

July, 2002. Many things happened this month: the French president survived an assassination attempt during Bastille Day, novelist Chiam Potok passed away from cancer, and Lance Armstrong won his fourth consecutive Tour de France.

It was also the month when Daddy left Lily forever.

Lily would forever remember that day. She and Mommy had been baking a cherry pie in the kitchen. They had been talking about panda bears. And then the phone had rang. And Mommy had picked it up, and she started to cry: seems there had been an accident at Daddy’s workplace.

And Mommy had picked Lily up, and put her on her lap, and cried and cried. Daddy would not be coming back, she said. He had gone away, to a better place, and we would never see him again. And Lily didn’t understand what all this meant, but Mommy was crying, and that made her sad, and she started crying too, and for the whole night, they held each other, mother and daughter, weeping their pain away.

What followed was confusing for Lily. They made her dress in black, and took her to the church, which they normally only went to on Sundays. Various aunties and uncles she had not seen for ages had gathered, and most of them were weeping around Daddy, who was lying in a long box, dressed in his best suit, asleep.

They told her that Daddy was sleeping, and would never wake up. A man in a black robe and funny collar corrected them: no, that was not true. He would wake up, someday, in a time far, far in the future, and all of them would be reunited, forever in happiness, for the rest of eternity.

But Lily was sad. She didn’t want that. She wanted her Daddy now, with his lovely smile and booming laugh and constant hugs. She wanted him to pick her up again, and pat her on the head, and take her to the garden to show her things like beetles and millipedes, although she found them scary. The future was too long to wait. She wanted her Daddy now, and wanted him so badly that it hurt just thinking about it.

It was around this time that Volstrak was happiest. Without her Daddy, Lily was just a scared, weak little girl, full of fear. He didn’t need to rely on fancy tricks like baring his fangs or letting his eyes shine in the darkness to terrify her; all he needed to do was remind her he was there, usually by a snarl or a laugh, for her to scream in fear.

Times were good for Volstrak.
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A year later, things would further change for Lily and Volstrak.

In October 2003, Mommy brought home a man to the house. The man was tall, with a bushy moustache, and wore ear-rings, which Lily found strange because she thought only girls wore those.

They had met at a company picnic, Mommy explained, and she was very much in love with him. They had been seeing each other for quite some time now, and soon, they would get married.

Lily did not understand.

In short, Mommy explained: he was going to be her new Daddy.

Lily found this even harder to understand. She only had one Daddy, who had left her one year ago, and was now resting in a coffin underneath the earth, dead. She loved her old Daddy, and had no desire to have a new one.

Besides, she did not like this new Daddy. There was something strange about him, something that she did not like. His smile was peculiar, and oddly fake: New Daddy did not smile with his eyes. His shows of happiness seemed put-on, amazingly artificial, and she could sense he did not like her at all.

Lily could not bear to call him Daddy. No, he was not and would never take the place of her old Daddy. She took to calling him ‘Uncle’, the normal term she used when calling other men, and when her Mommy made her call him ‘Daddy’, she combined the two, referring to this stranger as ‘Uncle Daddy’.

Her new father was not amused, but she would not call him anything else.

Uncle Daddy was a very strange man. Sometimes he was nice, looking happy despite his fake smiles, passing around sweets and watching TV with Mommy and her.

Most of the time, however, he was unpleasant.

He liked going out late at night. While Daddy always made sure he came home by nine, to read bedtime stories to her, Uncle Daddy always came home late. When he came home late, he always smelt terrible, of smoke and beer, and was terribly rude: many times using bad words that kids at school would get punished for saying.

Mommy didn’t like this, and often asked him to stop, but Uncle Daddy refused. He got angrier each time Mommy asked him to stop, and sometimes, hit Mommy hard, cursing loudly as he did. He would always be sorry about this the next day, and apologise profusely, but when night came, would fall into the same habits again.

He was bitter around Lily too, finding fault with her over the smallest things. He often asked her to bring beers and other snacks from the fridge while watching television, and if Lily brought the wrong things, flew into a rage and hit her hard.

Lily also could not shake the feeling that Uncle Daddy looked at her strange every time she walked to the kitchen. There was often a strange glint in his eye, a look that disturbed her. But she put the thought out of her mind. She had other things to worry about.
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If things were bad for Lily, they were just as bad for Volstrak.

He didn’t understand it. Lily seemed less scared of him nowadays. He was draining less and less fear from her. While in the past, the amount of fear she had of him was enough to supply a five-course dinner for all the Shadow Creatures in Asia, she was now barely scared enough to feed a hatchling. What the heck was happening?

The strangest part had been last night. He had revealed himself again, clinking his talons along the side of her bed, snarling. “I want to eat your flesh,” he had said menacingly. “Want to rip your skin and feast on your bones!”

And how had Lily replied? “Do it,” she had said. “Please.” For death by monster would be a relief to her compared to the daily hell she went through.

She wasn’t scared of him anymore! This did not make sense! This was ridiculous!

He tried again the next night. And the next. And the night after that. But to no avail. Volstrak roared, and snarled, and threatened. He bared his fangs, unsheathed his claws, even tore off his head once, just to invoke one scream from Lily, one tiny bit of fear. But it was pointless. Lily felt no fear at all from him.

Finally, one night, Volstrak could not take it anymore.

“Why aren’t you scared of me anymore, child?” he asked. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“No,” Lily said. “You are a very scary monster. But I have other things I am more scared of.”

“WHAT? What could be scarier than me, a Shadow Creature of the Eighth Realm? A witch-god? A hellhound? A wendigo? Tell me, child!!”

“None of those. It’s my new Daddy. I don’t like him. He scares me.”

“What? Why?”

And Lily broke down into tears, and told of how terribly Uncle Daddy was treating her, making her do chores and punishing her savagely every time she messed up. All she wanted to do was to be a good girl, she said, but Uncle Daddy found fault with everything she did!

Lily told of how Uncle Daddy had hit her twenty four times with an umbrella, and another time pushed her down the stairs for getting in his way. He was a terrible, smelly man, she said, and she missed her old Daddy so much.

Now Shadow-Beasts are solitary and reclusive by nature. Empathy is a foreign concept for them, and they do not usually bother with the problems of others, usually of the opinion that everyone has their own problems to bear. But Volstrak found himself listening, despite himself.
_____________________________________________________________________________

That night marked a fundamental change in the nature of Lily and Volstrak’s relationship.

Volstrak gave up on scaring her for the moment. After all, Lily no longer seemed afraid of him, and attempting to draw fear from her would be wasted effort. Instead, amazing himself, he found himself listening to her.

Lily told him many stories. She told him of the terrible things Uncle Daddy did to her and Mommy, and how she hated him so much it made her stomach hurt. Uncle Daddy made Mommy sad, she said, and they always had fights: Uncle Daddy spent too much of their money on beer, apparently, while Mommy wanted to save money for Lily to go to college, and when Mommy tried to talk to Uncle Daddy, he hit her.

She told him about school: how she liked English and Art, but hated Mathemathics: there were way too many numbers, and too many things you were supposed to do with them, she said. And the teacher was a very strict woman, apparently, always scolding her when she messed up. Chen Lao-shi was her name, she was a squat, fat old woman, her hair in a bun. No-one liked her.

Lily told her about how embarrassed she was about going to school with red cane marks all over her legs, and how her classmates always teased her and called her names. One girl had called her ‘Stupid Face’, and Lily had chased her and slapped her across the face: wow, she had gotten into serious trouble over that. The headmaster had scolded Lily and made her apologize, and she felt bad, but knew she would do it all over again in a heartbeat, something which made Volstrak laughed.

Lily told him of funny episodes of Spongebob she had seen. Of bunny-shaped clouds in the sky, of the jokes her teachers said in class, of the delicious peanut butter and cheese sandwiches her mother made for her to take to school. She told Volstrak of the little dog that had followed her home one day, only to be chased away by Uncle Daddy. She told him of the time she and Indran, a handsome curly-haired boy she hoped she would marry one day, spent recess blowing bubbles outside the canteen. She told him of the man with the funny hat she had seen on the bus, and the time she, Mommy and Daddy had gone to Japan, and eaten ice creams after a fireworks display.

And Volstrak found himself telling her about his life, as well.

He told her of all the many children he had scared over the centuries. Francois; the bedwetter, Benjamin; who prayed every time he came close, Xiao Li; whose aged grandmother would rush in to comfort her every time she screamed, Motabi; the sleepwalker, and dozens and dozens more.

He confessed to her that despite all his threats, Shadow-Creatures rarely ate children: it was the fear they thrived on, that was delicious and live-giving. Children could only be eaten in one circumstance. That is, if they were so scared out of their wits that their entire beings had been gripped by fear: only then could they be eaten, and they didn’t taste all that good as well. Their flesh was too stringy, and very bitter. Or so he had heard.

Lily asked why Shadow Creatures scared children, and Volstrak said it was how things were. They needed fear to survive, after all, and timid, impressionable little children was the best way to get it.

But you should be thankful for us, Volstrak reminded Lily. For often, a Shadow Creature forces a child to be brave, and find inner strength that otherwise would have been hidden forever. For little boys and little girls who find it in themselves to face the monsters under their bed will find they have the courage to face other monsters in their lives. They will not be shaken, no matter what life throws at them, and greatness will be their only destiny.

And Lily asked Volstrak about others like him, and he was glad to oblige. He told her of the spider-bellied Xephir, who lurked in closets, and drew in unsuspecting children with its sticky webs. He spoke of the Idtiliss, the long-fingered man with the scarred face, that tapped at windows, begging to be let into your house to spread terror. He told of the Lady Suffocate, a bloated corpse that hung upside down from the ceilings of showers, pouncing on its prey when they least suspected. Volstrak told her of the Clown King, and the Inside-Out Man, of the Skeleton Witch and the Faceless Beast, as well as the Seven Disgraces, and the Scream-By-Night.

And he told of Jerrifux, the prettiest Shadow-Creature he had ever laid eyes on, with her seven venomous tentacles and her hair that was a mass of writhing serpents. They had mated, and she had laid him a dozen eggs, which they had taken care of before going their separate ways. Such was their way, after all: they never remained together for longer than was necessary.

It was a sad and lonely life, though, and that was perhaps the reason why Volstrak was telling his life story to Lily. In other circumstances, he would have left the moment Lily stopped being scared of him. He needed fear to survive after all, and the longer he went without it, the weaker he got. But it was nice, in a way to talk to someone. He hadn’t had a conversation with another creature for decades, up to this.

For times were difficult now, especially for Shadow-Creatures. It had been ages since Volstrak had met another of his kind. The world was a scary place nowadays, with plenty to be afraid about. Movies and television, with their special effects, creating legions of monsters just as scary as a real Shadow-Creature. To say nothing of real life: with war, crime and injustice everywhere one looked, children had a lot more to be afraid of nowadays than monsters under the bed.

Many were the times when Volstrak had attempted to visit old friends, only to discover their shrivelled bodies lying forlornly beneath beds and armchairs, in empty closets and beneath staircases. They could only be deprived of fear for too long, after all. And Volstrak hoped he would never suffer such a fate.
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For a while, things were decent, and all was alright.

But nothing good lasts forever.

March 2004. A dramatic month. Terrorist attacks in Madrid. New photos from the Hubble Space Telescope. A cyclone hits Brazil.

It would also prove to be the last time that Lily and Volstrak would ever see each other.

It all started with Uncle Daddy getting laid off from work. It had put him in a foul mood: the nerve of his boss, he seethed angrily. Firing him for sleeping on the job and showing up late, it seems. Damn it, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t have enough sleep! He needed a lot of rest, to shake off the nasty hangovers he got.

So he stopped by a bar on the way back, and got plastered. Booze was his only source of happiness: he sure as hell didn’t get it from his family. His wife nagged all the time, and his step-daughter, she was a useless brat.

His mind shaken by anger and intoxication, Uncle Daddy made his way back, muttering to himself and cursing all the way.

And the first thing he saw was Lily’s shoes on the ground outside the door.

HOW MANY TIMES HAD HE TOLD THAT GIRL TO PUT HER SHOES ON THE RACK WHY WAS SHE SO DAMN STUBBORN…..

“Lily! Lily!” he bellowed her name loudly.

No answer. Furious, Uncle Daddy grabbed the feather duster from the table and moved to her room. Stupid girl, he’d teach her to answer when she was called..

Lily was reading a magazine when Uncle Daddy burst into her room. She cried with fear as Uncle Daddy picked her up and tossed her to the floor. With every ounce of strength, she apologised for what she had done, but her pleas fell on deaf ears, as Uncle Daddy struck her again and again with the feather duster, letting out all the pent-up rage that had been building within him.

Whack. That was for his stupid boss. Whack. That was for his stupid mortgage, which he could never pay off. Whack. That was for his stupid wife, always nagging him, never supporting him, never giving him love..

Love. That was all he wanted. Why why why was it so difficult to find, why couldn’t he find it..

It was just then that a strange urge took over him, and he picked up his crying daughter off the floor, and placed her gently on the bed.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Daddy,” Lily wept, her eyes puffy and red with tears. “I’ll be a good girl from now on, I promise, I won’t do anything wrong..”

“Shhh, Lily. It’s alright. I’m not angry anymore. You want to be a good girl, don’t you? Well, stop crying.”

“Ok, Uncle Daddy. I promise I won’t-“

“Take off your dress, Lily.”

“What?” Lily couldn’t believe her ears.

“Take off your dress, Lily. You don’t want to disobey me, do you? You want me to hit you again?”

“But I don’t want to, please-“

Uncle Daddy was enraged. He stormed toward the bed, feather duster raised, screaming. “TAKE YOUR DRESS OFF, OR SO HELP ME, I’LL-“

He never got to finish his sentence.

For a pair of powerful claws lunged at him from beneath Lily’s bed, ripping his flesh and causing him to fall to the ground.

‘What the fu-“

To his horror, a hideous beast emerged from the shadows under Lily’s bed. It was huge, with great wings of shadow, sharp claws like razor-blades, and piercing red eyes that blazed like the fires of hell.

“Monster!!!” it shouted at him, and its voice was like the shriek of a demon.

Uncle Daddy was too terrified to speak as the thing lunged toward him, its claws outstretched, its teeth bared. Whimpering, he tried to crawl away, but fear had rooted him to the spot. Absolute terror caused him to wet his pants: he had never seen a creature like this before, so majestic in its dreadfulness, the kind of monster that nightmares had nightmares about..

“You have assumed the role of this creature’s daddy,” the monster spoke to him, “and that role comes with responsibilities. You are supposed to love her, and cherish her, and do all you can to make her happy. Teach her right from wrong and educate her in the ways of the world. You are supposed to protect her from the monsters of the dark and the creatures of shadow. That is the way it has always been.”

“And you have perverted these sacred roles, you loathsome worm!” the monster snarled at him. Volstrak had never felt so powerful before: the wretch’s fear was overwhelming, and such a large quantity of it was making him feel almost euphoric. “How dare you attack your own child? Not even the lowest denizens of hell would resort to such ugliness. I should kill you right here and right now. You disgust me. Your mother should have eaten you at birth.”

Volstrak turned to Lily. “Get out of this place, Lily,” he said. “Call your mother. Tell her what your disgrace of a father has tried to do. And get to the police station. Tell them to come here in ten minutes. And please, do not turn back. I do not wish for you to see what I am about to do.”

Lily nodded. “Goodbye, my friend.” The last words she ever said to him. She knew, deep down, that she would never see him again after this. It was a miracle, as it was, that they had even managed to sustain a friendship that had lasted this long. For such things were not meant to be.

She ran from the room, trying her best to block out Uncle Daddy’s ear-piercing screams, as Volstrak advanced on him, grinning.
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July 2009. Three new dinosaur species are discovered in Australia. Federer defeats Roddick to win the 2009 Wimbledon Championships. China uses artificial insemination to create a giant panda, using frozen sperm.

It is also the month Indran Ambirajah will finally work up the courage to ask Lily Chen to be his girlfriend.

He’ll take her out for a movie: the latest chick flick maybe, she likes those. Or the latest blockbuster. What movie doesn’t matter. As long as they’re together. After that, he’ll take her for dinner at her favourite restaurant, before giving her a lift home. It will be a wonderful evening.

Sometime during the evening, he’ll ask he to be his, and Lily will accept. She will do her best not to cry, and fail miserably. She has liked him since they were in primary school, after all, and they will have many happy memories together.

Lily has made quite a life for herself. She stays in Puchong now, in a two-storey house with her mother and dog Mr Littles 2, and does well at school. She’s active in cheerleading, and represents the state in debating tournaments.

She still has memories of her old life, although she has mostly gotten over them. Most prominently, she remembers her old bedroom in her old house, where she lived with a terrifying monster under her bed. Oddly, she remembers him fondly.

As for Volstrak, he is living a wonderful life as well. He has since relocated: he haunts the Sungai Buloh prison now, growing fat off the fears of murderers, rapists, thieves and all manner of degenerates.

But he still has a soft spot for the prisoner in Cell No B-1276. Dear Uncle Daddy, who he visits on a very regular basis. He was the first person to show him that adults could be frightened as easily as children, after all, and that their fears were just as nourishing.

And he screams so delightfully like a little girl.