Thursday 8 May 2008

STUFF I ENJOY, STUFF THAT MAKES ME SUFFER AND ETCETRA.

Stuff I enjoy: MOVIES!




Lesson of the day: Iron Man is an awesome film, but trust me, the wrong film to watch before a Company law exam.

Why?

Scene God-knows-what of the film:

Sexy Reporter: (pissed) Why did you sell these weapons to terrorists??

Tony Stark: I didn’t sell weapons to terrorists!

Sexy reporter: Well, your company did!

Tony Stark: I’m not the company!

Me (from audience): He’s right!!! Salomon v Salomon, decided by the House of Lords!! Seperation of corporate personality!

I think its safe to assume I have lost all semblance I have to a life. Especially since I can relate two other instances in the film where a company law case sprung to me upon watching. DAMN YOU exams.

Seeing quite a lot of movies lately to destress.

If you didn’t know, by the way, I am a HUGE movie buff. I used to hit the cinemas almost every week back in Malaysia (where tickets do not cost an arm and a leg), traverse the pasar malams looking for the best DVDs, and currently write film reviews for my university newspaper (best bit is free movie entry!) Will watch anything, although enduring chick flicks often drives me to near cuckoo whoop-de-hooness.

21: not a bad film, Kevin Spacey is always entertaining. Though I think a lot less people are going to want to enrol at MIT if Kate Bosworth is supposedly ‘the hottest girl there.’ No offence, great actress and all, but her face somehow puts me in mind of a duck crossed with a horse. The fact that all the characters in the film seem to be falling head-over-heels in love with her makes me worry that being incredibly good at math seriously affects your taste in the opposite sex.

Harold and Kumar 2:I swear, these are less movies than they are hour-long marijuana commercials. Neil Patrick Harris really rocked this show, as he did in the first one. Was pretty funny, especially the George W. Bush parts, but somehow lacked the more unexpected and over-the-top humour the first one did. Many jokes predictable, repeated, or weakly developed.

Sweeney Todd: Good God, what took me so long to watch this?????? Pure awesomeness, from start to finish. Great story, killer songs, incredible performances. Oddly enough, there is a pie shop on a street near Reading town called Sweeney Todd, although the owners are nowhere as charismatic, and have never burst into song to see me.

Come to think about it, the Lebanese man at the grocery nearby is fond of singing every time I visit him..I think I’m going to think second thoughts the next time I buy my mincemeat. (for those not in the know, btw, have become quite fond of making beef pasta. Time-consuming to make, but rewards are worth it).

Upcoming trailers review:

Chronicles of Narnia: Earlier readers of the previous Sanctuary will know I adore films about ‘little children discovering themselves in fantasy realms’ (sounds a bit wrong), and I am a huge fan of the Narnia books, and I have to say, I get goosebumps everytime I see this trailer. Bloody hell, griffins! And that river god appearance at the end..incredible.

Yes, I know the Narnia books are more about the Christian way than big old fantasy battles. But they just look so awesome..

Batman: The Dark Knight: I just keep getting reminded of what a waste Heath Ledger’s death was every time I see this. Poor man. He was so gifted.

Wanted: Concept is interesting.But James ‘Atonement’ McAvoy as an action hero?? What next, Hugh Grant as a horror movie villain??

Hancock: Why, of all the titles to give to your film, do you choose this one??? Honestly!!! Firstly, no superhero is going to get respect with that name. Secondly, my corrupted mind makes me think of all kinds of unwholesome behaviour every time I hear that name, a fact not helped by the fact that Charlize Theron appears in the film.

Stuff I don’t enjoy: EXAMS!

It has been a gloomy, depressing month of mostly confining myself in my room or the library with my wonderful textbook friends. Exams are no fun, particularly final year, where the combined effort of three long and arduous years comes down to how well you can write a freaking essay.

First paper was Jurisprudence. To say it was bleak and depressing would be the understatement of the millennium. This was so even though it was a seen paper with the questions prepared for us in advance. Our lecturer, huge and massive like a fire troll, but cunning as the Midgard Serpent (yay Norse mythology metaphors) absolutely REFUSED to tell us how many of the seen questions would come out (resulting in more frenzied guesses and estimates than an entire season of Deal or No Deal) and nicely set the paper so all the straightforward, popular and predicted questions were all nowhere to be found. She’s apparently known for doing this, my seniors tell me. Gah. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been eating her young and burning virgins at the stake as well. (Seriously, wouldn’t put it past her.)

Intellectual Property was alright, although there is nary a scrap of anything remotely intellectual in the sad property that is my mind. Looked fervently for the question of Breach of Confidence, my favourite chapter, only to find that the evil examiners had combined it with a question on Patents, aka the Big and Bulky Confusing Topic that Only the Criminally Insane Would Try and Tackle. Oh Reading examiners, why do you hate me?

Company Law. Not a bad paper, the examiners had apparently used up their sadism quota on the last few papers, so no nasty surprises, thank God.

Had Criminology today. Attempted question on feminist theories of crime. Got stuck with a mental blank halfway. Panicked momentarily. Prayed for inspiration. None came. Got desperate.
In the end, resorted to a last-minute approach: filled up my essay with information I had learnt from reading the seminal Y: The Last Man. Because its hard to be more feminist than a comic about how women deal with the deaths of every male but one on the planet.




And they said nothing good would come out of reading comics. Sheesh.

Etcetera

Spring has also hit the United Kingdom. Our days are FINALLY longer than our nights! The sun is shining, flowers blooming everywhere, and little showers from the sky that hit you every time you go out without your umbrella.

It is also FREAKING HOT!!!!!

But Teg! I hear you protest. Weren’t you whining and moaning in the previous Sanctuary about how gloomy and cold the UK is, and how you missed the sunny smoke-filled skies of Selangor???

Well..yes. But you know what they say..a man is never satisfied. Plus, after getting used to walking around in bulky jackets with the equivalent weight and fashionability of a cow, you can’t blame me if I get pissed that I now have to unlearn all my valuable adaptation skills.

To add insult to injury, to add salt to the wound, to add necrophiliacs unto the remains of a mass genocide, it seems the UK is undergoing a heatwave that will go on for awhile, yesterday was apparently the hottest day of the year.

Oh joy.

The British however, love the hot weather. Seriously. They love tanning, sunbathing; the grassy meadow near the campus library is packed with pale sporty Brits on mats and plastic sheets, reading or playing Frisbee or chatting or generally being British. Guys also walk around with their shirts off, making it feel as though I’ve wandered into a Ralph Lauren commercial from time to time.

And the girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy mother of macaroni, the girls!!!

Wandering around in the barest of dresses, wearing tiny little shorts and even tinier tops, good Frodo, the eye candy level is so high I’m spoilt for choice. SERIOUSLY. How on EARTH am I supposed to be studying for exams when there are these exquisite specimens of incredible hotness wandering around in clothes that would be tight on a Barbie doll?

(You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is yet another sinister plan by my Juris lecturer to destroy me..)

I’m sorry if I sound lecherous, but seriously..MAN. And I’m enjoying this IMMENSELY, unlike a friend of mine whose name I will not mention..haha, you know who you are.

Looking at this eye-candy (and trust me, I do), it makes me wonder how we survive in my conservative homeland where despite the blistering heat, we go about with our usual clothes, when here it seems that people would die if you banned them from shorts and T-shirts. To say nothing of the Malay fellas who go about in long baju kurungs and headscarves and so on. How did we survive?

I wonder if my parents will let me come back here again next spring, to take in once again the wonderful ‘sights’ of the country.

My heart is filled with newfound love for this wonderful United Kingdom. Spring REALLY brings out the best in it, hahahhaa.

1 comment:

Bronchitkat said...

You see, Teg, we do do warmer over here. Though more 'normal' weather, & raincoats, has been resumed today.

Boy are you going to notice the difference when you get back home - in June/July even? If I were you I'd stay over here til August/early September, possibly seeing the 'sights' & then go back home when the worst of your summer had passed.

Of are you hear for longer than the one year.

& Yay for Company Law - all that expensive education you've so detested seems to have been working, even if it does spoil your enjoyment of films!

BTW - those griffins in the Narnia films. Don't recall Lewis ever mentioning griffins.